This guy Jonathan Menchacovits, related to no one living or dead, elevated himself to a high governmental job with the EPA. Talk about “boot-strapping.”

His bio: Gaunt, unkempt, lives in a boiler room, with a mind like a steel sieve. Occasionally he leaps ahead of himself and finds himself turning around.

His one blue eye and his one brown eye is his one and only redeeming feature. The blue one sees telescopically and the brown one microscopically. Thus, he actually sees his boiler room as a paradise. And he has gotten a very nice tan from the boiler, or should I say a nice red.

Anyway, he comes out of his paradise to mail ideas to the Emergency Postal Authority, another EPA. For some reason thought to be economics, that EPA also gave him authority.

The other EPA makes dictums and charges for clean-ups, also Jonathan’s idea. This results in people in all the towns across America, like Fountain Hills, paying their bills for clean-ups and having to use stamps, Jonathan’s brilliant plan to increase stamp usage and save the U.S.P.S. from bankruptcy.

Right now, he is taking credit for the recent two cent drop in U.S. stamp costs.

Three cheers for the finest, self-elevated, higher authority: Jonathan!