There was a time when you could read people’s thoughts based on the bumper stickers that were innocuously placed on the rear bumper of their vehicle. “What Would Scooby Doo?” “My other car is a spaceship.” “Honk if you’re (rhymes with thorny)!” They are messages shared by the driver ahead of you to make the mundane chore of sitting in traffic a little less disagreeable.

However, now people want their messages to convey how angry they are. Not just a little angry, mind you. Purportedly they are very, very angry. No longer is a bumper sticker worthy of their message. Their anger is now wrapped across their entire vehicle; the bumper now marginalized as a platform. Angry thinking is now scrolled in large, bold print with the intent to take away your thoughts as your own. Whether you’re stopped at a stoplight or driving down the road, it’s clear they want your thoughts focused solely on them, because their anger is more noteworthy.

Imagine, you just got news that your cancer has metastasized to your brain and you drive home, deep in thought, only to be alerted by an angry message written over an entire tailgate, rear window or giant flag, all pointing towards their anger and station in life, like a sky dancer twisting about in front of Billy Bob’s Used Cars.

But I digress. I’ve now realized how much I hate liver. I’m really angry about it. I’m incensed that my mother tried to pass off sautéing onions as liver bathed beneath them. Not a trifle little bumper sticker is enough for me!

See you down the road.