Being an Army wife can be difficult. Being an Army wife with a one-year-old son and husband deployed in Iraq can be even more challenging, especially around the holidays.

Keri Wheelwright of Monterrey Drive said her 28-year-old husband, Army Capt. Shaun Wheelwright, missed last Christmas at home, Easter,  her last two birthdays and the first birthday of their son, Desmond (Desi) Kai.

Shaun will not be home this holiday or Christmas. He is not expected to return until late February or March at the earliest. Shaun is serving with the 25th Infantry, 2nd Brigade, 127th Battalion in Taji, Iraq, about 20 miles northwest of Bagdad. 

While Shaun has been overseas, Keri has been campaigning to end the U.S. military occupation of Iraq by writing letters and essays, and giving talks. She addressed the Metropolitan Business and Professional Women Nov. 5 at the group’s meeting. Her involvement in Military Families Speak Out includes appealing to President-elect Barack Obama to end the war that has claimed the lives of 4,190 U.S. troops and more than one million Iraqis. Military Families Speak Out is an organization of nearly 4,000 military families opposed to the war in Iraq.

“If you truly wish to restore faith in the presidency, and leave a legacy of honesty behind, you must end the war now,” she wrote to Obama after his election.

“Help our country redeem itself in the eyes of the world and our own citizens by withdrawing our soldiers from this occupation based on lies.”

“Bring all our troops home from Iraq now and make sure that those brave men and women have access to the care they will need when they get home. Show our brave men and women in uniform that they can once again trust their Commander-in-Chief to serve them as they have served us with bravery, honor and dignity.”

The former Keri Robertson and Shaun Wheelwright were married three years ago. She graduated from Fountain Hills High School and attended Gateway College, Arizona State University and University of Hawaii.  She plans to continue her studies and earn a political science degree when Shaun returns home.

After he graduated from Blue Ridge High School in Pinetop, he enlisted at the age of 17 in the Army. After serving three years, he was invited to apply and was accepted at West Point Academy. He viewed the appointment as a pathway to an education, said Keri. He graduated in 2004.

“Before I met my husband, I was against going into Iraq because I felt there was no evidence for a pre-emptive strike. Since I have been married to the military, it has been a personal feeling of mine,” said Keri.

Although Keri said Shaun opposes the war, he “believes in protecting the integrity of the Army.”

“He’s patriotic and loves his country.”

She worries about what she believes to be under-reported invisible wounds of combat among returning soldiers.

“It’s not just putting an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff; we would rather build a fence so no one drops off. We want the focus on soldiers coming home to get the help that they need.”

Keri recognizes the problems surrounding deployment, but believes the return and reintegration into family life could bring other issues.

When Shaun came home for 18 days in July, he bonded quickly with Desi, said Keri.

“However as much he (Shaun) misses me and the comforts of home, he misses his son,” she said.

Shaun’s departure left the infant puzzled at the absence of his father. Keri said Desi would look behind doors thinking that his father was hiding from him.

“I’m discovering myself. I’m a new person now. I’m a mother. I went from being a working wife and now I’m a Mom. Shaun doesn’t know me as that person. He hasn’t seen how I’ve grown as a person,” said Keri, expressing apprehensions that reunited couples face after long separations.

Keri said husbands and wives tell  her that the month after the military spouse returns is a honeymoon. “Everything is new and everyone is happy, and then reality sets in and then you have to relearn how to be a couple.”

In the year before Shaun was deployed, he had been away 260 days for training exercises.

Keri sends a care package with favorite food items or a piece of Desi’s clothing that the infant has outgrown every two or three weeks. They talk frequently on the telephone or via a Web cam. Desi recognizes his father and calls him “Da, Da.”

Keri said she is fortunate to have a local support team comprised of her parents, three brothers and a sister living nearby.

“I could not do without them…I would be a complete basket case.”

Shaun’s five-year military commitment ends next December. He is unsure whether he will remain in the military or seek employment in the civilian workplace, said Keri.

“Military life is hard enough without the war,” said Keri, what with frequent moves and job assignments. Keri said Shaun is a “people person” and wants to receive a master’s degree in business administration.

Keri admits to being apprehensive over Shaun’s return.

“He’ll have to get to know Desi and me in my new role as a mother. While I think he’ll like me as a mother, I think it will be a lot of new stuff for both of us….and he’ll have to learn how to be a Dad. We all have to do it together….the three of us.”