It was June 21, 7:15 a.m. I woke up to start getting ready for my day. I had my phone charging in the other room and I took the day off work to go see my stepfather, Bob Sternfels, as he returned home from the hospital the night before. I grabbed my phone and a text from my sister said Bob had passed away at 2:45 a.m.
Bob returned home the night before in hospice care and he was a fighter until the end. Diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2014 he was on new trial drugs and chemo to stop the cancer from growing and spreading.
I was 18 when I met Bob and I was not thrilled to meet him in the beginning for obvious reasons. I was invited to dinner at his house. When the door opened, he had a huge smile on his face and was so excited to meet me. If you knew Bob, you would know that smile.
He had so much energy and was always giving you a huge smile. When I sat down and talked with him I was amazed how much he knew and how he had a story for everything. I would bring up flying and he would tell me war stories and how he piloted his own personal plane. I would bring up the smallest things and he had done it and had a story for it.
Bob, at the time was commuting from California for work and was in the process of moving his law firm to Fountain Hills. I was about to move to New York so my life was changing as well. Bob and my mom visited me in New York and as more time went along I was happier for my mom and accepted the change.
Bob loved projects and was up with a ball of enery every morning at 5:30. I recall on many occasions when I had something broken in my condo or house he would welcome it and was right there with his tools. He would drag out the process because he would talk about what broke and the logic behind fixing the problem.
Many times it was so draining because I just wanted to get it fixed and go but he cared more about the project than just fixing it. Bob cared about the time spent with me or whomever he was helping. This was who Bob was. He also welcomed the challenge for things he had never fixed.
“Live life to the fullest.” This is something we say all the time, but Bob lived it. Bob and my mom had a place in Cabo San Lucas but moved to a different location in Mexico to a small beach town called San Carlos. I would go down to visit and watch Bob scuba dive, jet ski, ride the four wheelers through the canyons, and take us out on a boat he was captain of he called “Top Gun.” He did it all and loved it.
I would be sitting on the pool deck looking at the ocean and Bob would sit next to me and sip on his scotch and look off into the sunset and say “Not bad, huh Brent”. These are the words I will always remember.
This past Friday I drove to Laguna Beach, Calif., to attend a Celebration of Life for Bob. Family and friends gathered to say goodbye to a man who touched many lives. The celebration turned out great and was a catered event on the beach. Bob would not want people to sit around and grieve but would rather they have fun just as he saw life.
My mom made a video tribute to him that shared memories throughout his life. Family and friends told stories and we all would relate to each of them because we all knew Bob and who he was.
The celebration ended around 4 p.m. Everyone got their bathing suits on to play volleyball, throw the football and catch some waves in the ocean. I am sure Bob was looking down at all of us with a big smile saying “That’s great.”
Death is a part of our lives, unfortunately. Cancer is evil but it’s something we will beat and Bob helped us toward finding that cure with his fight he had and the trial drugs he used. He left his mark on the world and left behind a legacy that family and friends will always remember.
I was driving home Sunday and as I looked out into the open desert I thought about how much Bob loved to travel and even though he is gone our memories of him will keep his spirit alive. We will see you again, Bob, but until then I want to say this about your life: “Not bad huh, Bob, not bad at all.”
